Shark Practice

I took my wife to the beach recently, and though the water was a bit colder than the summer, it was still warm enough to enjoy.  I told my wife that we needed to do some shark practice just in case we were ever attacked by a shark or some other aggressive animal in the water.  She agreed!  So, we waded in with our backs to the beach, peering out over the water.  My wife was in front of me by design, and I placed my hands firmly on her hips.  Then I shouted, “Shark to the left,” and with my hands I moved her body to the left, placing her between me and the “shark.”  Then I yelled, “Shark to the right,” and I deftly moved her body to the right, placing her, once again, between me and the “shark.”   

My wife stopped shark practice at that juncture, turned to me, and said, “I see, so shark practice is to make sure the shark attacks me, allowing you to escape unharmed while he nibbles or worse on me.  Is that it?” Now, my wife is very clever, and she picked up on my ingenious strategy perfectly.  “Yes,” I said, “you’ve captured the essence of shark practice perfectly.”  I told her that since I was so much faster than she is, I would run like the wind for help to save her unless, of course,  I got a call on my cell phone which might delay me just a minute or two.  Imagine my shock and surprise when she seemed very unenthusiastic, even annoyed, with my approach to shark practice. In fact, it was all designed to save her after all.  I can’t imagine what I might have said or done wrong!  Can you?